The Chronicles of Failed Hollerations: Story 1

brought to you today by Jenny Vuong and Robin Marie Bondoc.

Inspired by true events…scratch that…real-life-i-kid-you-not-this-is-no-bullshit-its-happened-but-its-pretty-funny-nonetheless events.


Story 1: Desperate Times Call for Desperate Measures

Some might just say i’m pretty funny, but rather, I say, I’m a teller of stories that happen to be funny.

Enter: My Freshman year of College. It’s my 1st semester in an environment completely unknown to me. I was unknowing and naive about girls, heck, you might say I still am. But sheeeit I was out to get some of dat azz. Isn’t that what college is about?

 
(any takers ladies? anyone? ……hello……………)

But yeah anyways..

I walk into my Fall Algebra class and scan around seeing if there are any girls that can get it and this one particular female specimen caught my eye. Oh she could get it alright. But I would need an interpreter….no her azz wasn’t from China…she needed….

…a sign language interpreter. 

That, my friends, was the day I sunk to a new low. Which, in fact, was actually a new high for me. It was right in front of me like God himself told me “Kent, she can get it and yeah I know she can’t hear you, but I’m making it easy for you, don’t blow this. srsly.”

What really ran through my head that class was this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbbRrNHJ4Lg&ob=av2e 

It made my state of desperation look at least somewhat romantic. Hey, I was common, and that guy is cool…right?

Damn. this could really work out! I…am…that…nigga.

So there I am in my class making my approach. I’m thinking…yeahhh i should get her number….but wait….how the fuk we gonna talk. Eh fuk….it i’m asking her for her AOL screen name :D :D :D. (I seriously put that face on the piece of paper i wrote to her asking for her sn)

Oh…and she gave it to me alright. This was the start of a bright future for me, filled with pre-written notecards at least until i understood sign language.

and another bright side was that i’m a nerd. this worked to my advantage so much. I can show off my entire gamut of personality through emoticons :) :( ;).  

Oh and btw…she never went on.

and yes, I did have the rest of the college algebra class with her, but with no communication between us………. as to be expected.

In conclusion…yes I did holler at a deaf/mute girl. (I honestly didn’t know which of these she was, but its safe to assume at least 1). But really she was cute. Half white/filipino babies make all the money nowadays right?

I saw her a year later at a Panda Express in Waterford. I typed a neat little message on my phone “Hey you were in my math class right :)”

“Yeah I remember you. :D :D HI”





 

2 weeks ago  /  6 notes

Relationships. Round 2.

I guess you can say for me “it’s complicated” right now, but hey its better than nothing.

At this point in my life they all say that the world is chock full of women you can date. That, sir, may be true and very likely is true. But how many of those women can you say are the only ones that can make you feel like they’re the only friend you need in this world? Anyone have an answer to that?

 I honestly believe that even though there are millions of fish in the sea there’s only a select few that really make your dinner plate. Bad analogy? oh well.

Idk what else to say about this except really cherish what you’ve got and if its worth holding on to then hold on to it for your dear life. It’s one huge ocean and 1 (worthwhile) fish.

7 months ago  /  1 note

.

i dont know exactly how old you fine azz females r so i will not holler. It only takes 1 mistake to turn u in to a pedo.

The end :)

7 months ago  /  2 notes

This really is a vacation

10 day mark here in the pi and I am writing on tumblr.

My English is get worse now already than previously it was before. Seriously lol.

But I’m feeling very fortunate to have family like this on both sides of the family. Not everyone’s trip to the Philippines is full of chillen with cousins, taking shots of tanduay, chasing it with red horse(32 oz), and shocking all the adults because they think that sheet is hardcore. It’s always humbling and fun to go here. Taking cold showers out of a pail and bucket of water is fine by me, but the lack of antibacterial soap at my relatives houses is killin me coz ur hands don’t clean themselves after u poop.

Oh. And dear Mosquitos. Fuck all y’all.

I almost don’t wanna go home, but then I slap myself and realize that this is only a vacation and living out here wouldn’t necessarily be the sheet. Either way, Nobody wants to go home from a vacation.

This may be the last trip here for a very very long while. us Filipino Americans don’t usually go back there when we are old and don’t have the shelter of parental guidance to make our blatant Americanness seem okay. Either way I hope one day I could go back and see every1 agen.

10 days down. 16 days left.

7 months ago  /  4 notes