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whatsup werld
I had one of those nights the other night where I had GREAT TUMBLR MATERIAL, but inconsequentially(first time using this word..heh) I was too sleepy to write it.
I guess this will have to do:
How Being 22 Years Old going on to 23 Feels
1. old people tell you you’re young and high school kids think you’re their age. (which means i’ll never grow up lol)
idk what it is. everyone else (in general white people) seems to age like fine cheeses, but I apparently still look like milk in comparison. this is absolutely weird. its like i’m experiencing puberty all over again in that section where i’m not really a kid and not really a teen. but instead i’m not a teen anymore, but not really an adult per se.
2. the decisions made now and especially now will have a profound effect on the rest of your life.
i’ve missed out on opportunities. i’ve failed. i do not have any second chances. this is it or else. i cannot go back. This is a period of my life I feel as though I have to make commitments.
I understand that by this time, I should be mature enough to have made those decisions already. There is however, the lingering, what if. What if I did this. what if I did that. I don’t want to settle and be unsatisfied.
3. am I ready to face the world on my own?
i’ve always thought about this. returning from work to an empty house. not having the financial support of family anymore. this is taking it a bit extreme because i’m pretty sure it wouldn’t be that desolate of a life, but I guess this is the kind of dark fear and anxiety I face.
A few more months and college is done. I’m not sad that its happening soon, I would prefer it to be quicker if anything. It’s not just college, but the days of living at home and always having the comfort there. I’m not the best at keeping close friends so the thought of a life lived alone really scares me.
As a counterpoint, being too comfortable here and having things not change scares me too lol
